Friday evening, 19.30h. Tristan and me arrive at the on-ramp in Oldenzaal-Hanzepoort, the Netherlands. It’s the beginning of our trip eastwards, me personally continuing towards Moscow. The time and date for hitchhiking through Germany might have been chosen quite somewhat unlogical, but here we go.
It takes us some five minutes until we get a ride. Our driver, a truck driver with southern European descent, gives us a ride to the parking area at the border. He has no problems telling me during that few minutes ride that he had some fun with prostitutes in Almelo recently, recommending the city’s night-life to me. “Nur Kuss, Kuss”. All right….
At the border it takes us maybe fourty minutes, maybe somewhat more, until a truck stops for us. It’s a Polish truck driver, of course, who’s willing to take us. He has two hours to go until he is forced to stop, which makes it a perfect ride until the Autohof at Porta Westfalica, just behind Bad Oeynhausen. Great!
At Porta Westfalica, it’s nearly 23:00 while we’re watching the sunset and enjoy our dinner. Eventually, we get a sign ready saying PL (we’re still in hope finding a straight ride to Poland). Around midnight then Jürgen (don’t remember the real name) stops with his mini-truck, saying driving this instead of a 40t truck is his punishment for not refreshing his driving license on time. Oh well, he’s driving up all the way to Berlin, so we’re welcome. On the way, he starts talking about his life story, has been an alcoholic for a while, loves the freedom of the road, which he experiences already since 30 years. By that time, Tristan and me were not even existing! He planned to arrive in Berlin some 3,5 hours later, but Jürgen thought it might be smart to listen to his navigation system, which pronounced a traffic jam in the middle of nowhere at 2:30 in the morning. So, off we are, driving through the city of Brandenburg, getting lost, him missing the on-ramps, and it takes us about one hour until we get to see the promising highway in front of us. Nevertheless, just after 4 am we get to arrive at Michendorf service station, just in time for the sunrise again. Unfortunately this time there hasn’t been any sun, just gray clouds pronouncing the upcoming hell of a rain we have to get through.
It takes not long until we get our next ride, this time a Polish dude on his way to Frankfurt (Oder). He offers us cigarettes, energy drinks (second we needed for sure!) and horrible techno music for the short ride towards Am Fichtenwald (or something like that). That’s a service station just behind Berlin, in front of the junction for the A13 we want to take southwards for Cottbus. Well, while approaching the service station, we see dozens of fireman cleaning something at the entrance of the service station, just to be welcomed by a lot more of police and ambulances. What the….?
Turns out there has been some truck lacking some chemicals which are not supposed to be lost on ground, and thus the police decides minutes after we arrive to close the whole station, not letting anybody in, not letting anybody around the truck out. The awaken truck drivers are of course totally pissed off, though some manage to escape without giving a glance to us. There we are, two lost hitchhikers at 5:30 on a Saturday morning, with no sign of getting out of there soon.
It must have been about two or three hours later that some Polish dude stops for us. He’s on the way to Poznan, absolutely not our way, but we give it a try and get a ride just behind the border near Frankfurt (Oder), willing to hitchhike the countryside roads along Zilona Gora and Legnica towards Wroclaw. This was a huge mistake, but what could we do? Hitchhiking on the highway with so much police around? Well, well, well…and there it begins. At first, an endless line of waiting trucks welcomes us. Not to mention that just behind the border, the rain started. Rain in gray, rainy Poland. How lovely, unfortunately it was supposed to rain for the the next 24 hour. Next to that, we figured out that on this particular Saturday, trucks were not allowed to drive before 3 pm (?) because of the Polish holidays. Awesome, but we get a ride anyway for 20 km somehow by a young Polish in his fancy old Mercedes, driving like a maniac over the swimming roads of Poland. I guess he never heard about the theory of aqua-planning, and we’re happy to be alive and out of that car shortly after. We waited quite a long time in this village, our clothes and backpacks getting totally soaked by the rain water. Eventually, some guy who passed a minute earlier decided to turn around and take us until Zilona Gora.
Zilona Gora has about three or more roundabouts around the city, and somehow it takes us ages (and lots of damn rain) to get from one roundabout to the other. The roads are constructed in such a horrible way that cars barely can stop. One Sprinter does anyway, and we get into the back, which windows are closed by some sort of cardboard and wooden piles. No seats available, so we’re standing in the back, rather dry-surfing trying to find our balance than thinking about what the hell are we in.
Eventuelly, we get towards that sort of highway just out of Zilona Gora. We try to hitch at the on-ramp, me standing on the hard shoulder facing the passing traffic of the highway. As far as I remember, it was now not raining for some minutes, but of course the next nightmare was just about to arrive: the Polish policija.
Well, long story short, they ask for passports, speak only Polish and apparently one phrase of German. Seeing my German passport and a Polish name in it, they start being somewhat pissed, all I get is that me having a Polish name makes them think that I have to speak Polish, of course. Oh wow, now try to argue THAT with the Polish police. I totally mix up German, English and Russian words, making them even more believe that I am Polish. Great, eventually they ask us to get into the car, and off we drive. During the ride, the driving officer asks me the ultimate question of life, the universe and all: “Sprechen Sie Deutsch?”
Not sure what might be the most appropriate answer in this case, I give a glance to the second officer who’s just now watching through my passport with big eyes. Makes me think of getting a new passport soon to avoid being accused again of being a “rekrut” of the Russian mafia bringing whatever people to the European Union. Some time later we get to a service station, and the officers take their time (seems they have plenty of it) to note down our passport data on their block. They repeatedly tell me somewhat about “straf” and “mandat”, the first being the Russian equivalent for a penalty we have to pay. Paying for what, I ask him several times in Russian, English and German. He asks us to pay 100 Zloty each for hitchhiking on the Polish road, which was not even an official highway. No idea about the rules in Poland, but a short explanation for children (chauffeur stop autobahn, we problem!) made them change their plan and somehow, they let us out without paying their “mandat”. Another word added to my Polish dictionary…
The service station was, well…it was raining a lot, shoes and clothes were totally wet, we had absolutely no chance to get a ride. In the meantime some guy appeared, starting to ask people something (probably for a ride?), and soon we see him driving off in a shady car, just to see him back some minutes later with a beer in his hand and his forehead being totally cut and bleeding, obviously by someone’s force. Welcome to Poland, so to say? What was happening here? I still have no clue where we have been, what kind of shady place that was, and we were even more than relieved when we got a ride by a young couple out of that place after waiting at least two hours. Again only a few kilometers further…
Eventually, we arrived in some village, while the rain just got stronger. No shelter to cover ourselfs, no suitable hard shoulder to hitchhike, each passing truck blowing fountains of water into our faces. This seems to be the absolute negative side of hitchhiking, I guess. It was already getting late, around 19:00, when we decided to take the bus to Wroclaw and from there the nigh-train to Przemysl (how are we supposed to pronounce that name???). No chance to hitchhike further the upcoming night with totally soaked, wet shoes and that hell of a rain. Not to mention the cold and that it took us at least three hours in that village to decide towards this step, after trying to wave down any goddamn car.
Well, the three hour bus ride to Wroclaw I don’t remember at all, as we fell asleep directly. We were surprised to find the night train going for around 10 hours, 509 km, for a price of ~ 10 Euro per person. The heating inside our cabin was on full power, which made all our clothes and shoes dry in no-time. Thank you, Polish railways, for moderate, human prices and good, heated cabins!
Sunday morning about 10 am, we finally arrived in Przemysl at the Polish-Ukrainian border, just to find the sky getting blue and sunny once more. YEAH!



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